We are pleased to announce our first angel post. Thank you Kalialani for your story of your beautiful angel Leila.
My Angel Leila Keolalani
I went into labor at 23 weeks 5 days gestation and was told my daughter would be born within 24 hours. Leila Keolalani Mohamed was born 16 weeks early on March 22, 2010 at 1 pound 7 ounces. She was the epitome of perfection. Doctors told me she probably wouldn’t survive. Before she was born they gave me two options: comfort care, meaning she would be delivered and then put in my arms so I’m able to comfort her as she passes, the other option was an emergency c-section. With any c-section there are risks, but this one in particular would pose a risk to me more than my baby. With this c-section the doctors would be doing everything in their power to save her. After talking with the doctors I decided to go with comfort care. I couldn’t bear to see my daughter suffer from my selfishness of wanting her to stay so badly. Comfort care was the doctor’s recommendation and they fully supported my decision to go through with it. After “sleeping” it off that night in the hospital I woke up feeling like my decision was not the right one for me. Who am I to say she doesn’t deserve a chance to fight? I wanted to give her that chance; if God chooses to keep her with me, then he does, but if he needs her in heaven then I will thank him for the time we were given with her regardless. I changed my mind and asked for that c-section. I had faith in my daughter.
Within minutes I was whisked away on the stretcher to the operation room. With my Mom by my side, I knew I had made the right decision. All I can remember during the operation was the moment they took her out of my belly. She whimpered like a puppy and that sound was music to my ears. My daughter was really here. She was immediately taken to the NICU to be cared for.
Each day in the NICU she seemed to be improving. We had our ups and downs but she showed so much strength for such a “petite” little girl. Nurse Kristin called her “petite” rather than tiny. She was the best nurse I ever could have asked for.
April 7th was the first day I was able to hold her. It was the most amazing feeling of my whole life. My family was finally complete. Then, just two days later on April 9, 2010 my whole world fell apart. I found out my daughter was sick the night before and was told she wouldn’t survive. She was just too premature. The doctor suggested we spend as much time with her as possible because she could be gone at any moment.
As I held her in my arms those last moments I whispered in her ear that she could go to heaven whenever she was ready. I told her that I loved her very much and that I would see her again someday. The doctors told us we would need to take her off life support, but ultimately we didn’t have to. Her heart rate descended on its own and eventually stopped as she lay in my arms. She left this world as beautiful and perfect as when she came in it.